


Lone Cat and Samurai

by darth_stitch



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Animal Transformation, Crack, Fluff, Humor, Kitten!Steve, M/M, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2015-02-28
Packaged: 2018-02-18 02:26:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 8,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2331845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darth_stitch/pseuds/darth_stitch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"We lost Kitten America sir!"  Junior Agent blurted out.  Then turned an unlovely shade of purple.  "I mean, Captain America.  Who’s a kitten.  Because magic.  Sir."</p><p><b>UPDATE:</b> Kitten America meets the Guardians of the Galaxy and a football bet is made...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **DISCLAIMER:** Marvel and Disney own all. Also, it's really their fault that I lost my sanity like this. I'm still looking for it. If anyone's seen my Sanity, please let me know. 
> 
> Originally posted at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/95335381156/i-lost-it-at-kitten-america-omg)

"Sir.  Um." 

The Cavalry rolled her eyes at the poor new junior agent who was too busy literally quaking in their shoes.  "Spit it out, Agent.  The Director's not going to eat you." 

"We lost Kitten America sir!"  Junior Agent blurted out.  Then turned an unlovely shade of purple.  "I mean, Captain America.  Who's a kitten.  Because magic.  Sir."

"On second thought, would you like to be filleted or barbequed?" Agent May inquired politely. 

"Huh," said the Director in atypical fashion, although everyone who knew him well was aware that Director Coulson was this close to losing it.  Also, calling Director Coulson _the_ foremost expert (read: massive ginormous raging fanboy - courtesy of Clint Barton) on Captain America was an understatement. 

The story came tumbling out.  Apparently, HYDRA had taken to employing humans who were actually capable of using massive amounts of energy in what everyone else would call _magic_ and what scientists like Jane Foster would call "science yet to be explained."   Proper terms aside, said wizards had managed to zap America's Super Soldier and turn him into an itty, bitty, golden kitten. 

_Cutest darn thing anyone had ever seen_ \- words that had actually made it onto the report with this picture:

However, Kitten America (this nickname had stuck and it was gleefully adopted by Skye, Tripp and Team FitzSimmons) had temporarily won free of his captors and had been picked up by a tattered remnant of a SHIELD team that had been assigned to “Cap Watch.”  The general idea was that they would get Kitten Cap to a SHIELD witch - whose loyalty to the cause was vetted by May herself - to undo the spell.

HYDRA had caught up to them.

This poor Junior Agent was among the survivors of that team. 

Apparently, Kitten America had willingly gone with HYDRA, if it meant saving the lives of the SHIELD Cap Watch team.  The fact that Cap’s human mind was apparently still functioning in that little fuzzy blonde head was reassuring.

The problem was, this HYDRA cell apparently had the Winter Soldier in their ranks. 

The fact that the _Winter Soldier_ was among the HYDRA cell personnel may have also weighed heavily in Kitten Cap’s decision to go to the enemy.  Everyone knew, by this point, that the Winter Soldier was James Buchanan Barnes - Cap’s old BFF - and well, it was no surprise that Cap was good and determined to save him.

Coulson sighed.  First off, there was a SHIELD witch to pick up and a Kitten America to find.  Time to get to work.

***

The fact that the numerous HYDRA cells were massively disorganized and lacking in communication after the Triskelion Incident worked very much in the Soldier’s favor. 

Maybe he wasn’t completely James Buchanan Barnes yet, but the Soldier understood what had been done to him, what had been taken away from him and he certainly understood vengeance.  So he took to this new mission with all the skill, cunning and rage he’d had building up for the past seventy years. 

Infiltrating HYDRA cells like this one, pretending to be the docile Soldier, gathering intel and then burning and salting everything to the earth - this was a walk in the park considering things.  In the back of his mind, there was also the underlying directive.  _Protect Steve._

Maybe he wasn’t going to be much use to Captain Steve Rogers anymore, because the “Bucky” of Captain Rogers’ past no longer existed.  But he’d protect Steve anyway.

He wasn’t sure why this particular (and seriously stupid, because kittens, really?) HYDRA cell wanted this tiny bit of golden fluff but he’d played along with it.  He knew HYDRA had long dabbled in what other people would term “the occult.” 

They gave him his orders.  _Kill the kitten._

The kitten gazed up at him with hopeful, trusting, oddly _familiar_ big blue eyes and simply said, “Mew.”

At that point, the Soldier, figuring that he’d already gotten all the intel he needed without being subjected to The Chair again or _worse_ for questioning orders, started the methodical process of _e_ _liminating the targets._   There were really only two magic-users in this group.  He took them out first, before they could hex him.

The rest were easy. 

When he was done, the kitten actually clambered right up to his shoulder and rubbed its fuzzy head against his cheek.  He absently trailed gentle fingers along its head. 

It purred contentedly. 

"All right, pal," the Soldier rasped, shaping the words in a way he hadn’t done for a very long time.  "Let’s go."

"Meow."

"Don’t suppose you got a name, do you?"

"Meowr."

"All right, pal.  I’ll think of something.  Something that will fit you." He scratched the kitten under its chin and it blinked at him.  Twice.

The Soldier wasn’t sure why HYDRA and SHIELD were fighting over this one kitten but as mission partners go, this wasn’t a bad one.  He had more HYDRA cells to take down. And now he had a fuzzy partner to take along with. 

_\- tbc -_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/95342044481/punk-the-kitten-bucky-leaping-onto-cars-with-punk-the)

_The footage is grainy but the remains of the SHIELD Geek Squad manage to put it together with an almost cinematic flourish.  The Winter Soldier is shown to leap onto the car driven by the HYDRA agent, with something blonde and fuzzy clinging to his shoulder.  Blonde and fuzzy nimbly climbs down his arm to pounce and claw at the HYDRA driver's face._

_It's like watching a Stephen King short story come to life - the one with the Cat From Hell - and it's not long before the driver swerves and loses control of the car.  The Soldier and his small charge leap nimbly away, spiraling through the air._

_Of course, they land feet first._

_Of course, they walk unflinchingly away as the car explodes behind them.  One HYDRA agent down.  One more head chopped off._

_And it's obvious, from the Winter Soldier's swagger, that he doesn't give a good god damn how many more heads will be growing in its place. Neither does the kitten._

_***_

"Huh," was Skye’s initial reaction after they had all watched the latest video that had captured the Winter Soldier in action.  It was a damn good impression of Phil Coulson, to be honest.  "I guess Death by Adorable is actually, _literally_ possible.”

May kept her poker face just for five seconds before she snorted in laughter.  Seriously.  The Winter Soldier’s unexpected, fuzzy sidekick was agile, _fast_ and was absolutely _ferocious_ in defending his human partner.

That the kitten was actually a bespelled Captain America - well, that was just a bonus. 

Coulson wasn’t surprised, really.  As a human, Steve Rogers didn’t back down from anybody, even when he’d been five foot two and ninety pounds wheezing.  So it stood to reason that he still wouldn’t back down, even as an itty, bitty kitten.

Tripp winced as the footage showed the Soldier punching out an agent everyone recognized as being from the STRIKE teams while Kitten America clawed the goon at the groin.  “Yeowch.  Vicious little critter, isn’t he?”

May snorted.  “You ever see Cap the human in action?  He doesn’t shy from ball shots at all.  He’s not quite the saint history books claim he is.”

"Do you think the Soldier’s figured out who his feline partner really is?" Simmons wondered.

The SHIELD agents all looked at each other.  Well.  That was a mystery, wasn’t it?

***

The Soldier figured that his tiny partner definitely deserved salmon tonight.

He really hadn’t intended to take the kitten along on missions.  But the little guy had firmly made his place in one of his pockets and meowed so loudly at being left behind, that the Soldier, against his better judgment, relented.

Also, he tried not to think too much about how the kitten strongly reminded him of a frail, but scrappy little blonde haired boy in his fragmented dreams. 

The kitten would meow forlornly, scratch or look so pitiful whenever the Soldier even _thought_ about leaving him behind somewhere safe or with someone else, that he couldn’t bring himself to do it.  He’d had to google all the signs of cat depression and the kitten definitely showed the symptoms, which only eased if the Soldier picked him up and cuddled him close.

So, yeah, really, he definitely had a fuzzy partner for missions.  A fuzzy, _lethal_ partner, by the looks of it.

He gently stroked the head of his kitten as the little guy happily wolfed down his dinner.  At least he now had a name.

Punk was an excellent name for a kitten.  In fact, Punk himself twined around the Soldier’s ankles and purred quite loudly upon being told his new name. 

_\- tbc -_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Note:** HAI luckyfilbert - YOU’RE LIVING IN MY BRAIN AGAIN. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. DEATH BY ADORABLE.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/95392707171/kitty-steve-is-precious-does-winter-soldier-protect)

_Protectiveness_ is something that comes to the Winter Soldier easily and it brings with it feelings and _impressions_ that are far less painful than the HYDRA-enforced directive of _obey without question._

_Protect Steve_ was the Original Mission, the only Mission that actually ever really mattered.  So the Soldier would be carrying out that Mission, even if he didn’t want to cross paths with Steve ever again, not broken and twisted as he was now.

It was slightly disconcerting, however, to find that his feline companion apparently felt the same way towards him and nope, Punk apparently wasn’t going to discriminate between human or animal threats. 

The Soldier barely stifled a yelp when Punk hissed and jumped down from his shoulder, only to stand in front of the Soldier and a huge Doberman who looked like it could swallow Punk up in one bite.  Not that it was going to stop the kitten - the kitten’s back was arched, his fur was all puffed, tail was up and he was hissing ferociously at the dog. 

"Jesus, Punk!" The Soldier exclaimed, diving in to save his kitten, just as the dog’s owner yanked back on the growling animal’s leash, sending apologies towards the Soldier’s way. 

The Soldier didn’t pay the dog’s owner any mind.  He was just interested in getting Punk out of there.

"Are you outta your mind?" he demanded of the kitten.  Never mind if the animal wasn’t actually going to talk back.

"Meow."

Somehow, the Soldier was half expecting the answer to be:  _I had him on the ropes._

"He was twenty times your size and you would have been Kitten. Chow.  Do you understand that, Punk?  One bite.  You would have been a goner."

"Meowr."  One little paw booped the Soldier on the nose.

"Nope, you’re not using cute to get away with this."  The Soldier held the Kitten close, stared down into big blue eyes.  "Stop picking fights on your own, you hear me?"

_Stop picking fights on your own, Stevie.  One day I’m not gonna be there and then you’re gonna get yourself killed._

Punk blinked at him twice. 

The Soldier sighed.  “You’re such a little punk, you know that?”

The Soldier sighed and set the kitten back to his usual place on his shoulder.  Punk nuzzled against his chin and purred. 

_Jerk._

_\- tbc -_


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/95400399281/ok-so-if-buckys-been-protecting-steve-from-the)

"Okay, so I need to recap this because maybe, just _maybe_ saying it out loud will make things have this wonderful component called _sense_ …. oh hell, what am I even saying?  Our lives are a fucking comic book.”  Tony takes a deep breath.  “So basically, HYDRA’s got Death Eaters and if they’ve got Voldemort too, please, tell me we have Harry Potter on our side - and said Death Eaters have zapped our Cap into a kitten.”

"The itty-est, bitty-est, cutest kitty cat you’ve ever seen," Clint cracked, looking at Kitten America’s SHIELD file picture.  

"She’s not Harry Potter but she’ll need time to figure out the counterspell," Natasha offered.  "All we need to do is to get Kitten America back."

"Man, Steve isn’t going to live down the nickname, is he?" Sam snickered.

"Nope."

"Great.  Just get Kitten America back, it’s doable," Bruce said wryly.

"If we can get him away from the Winter Soldier.  Sure.  Very doable," Tony returned, just as wryly. 

"Who, for the record, apparently adores him," Simmons volunteered.  "It’s cute."

Everyone stared at her. She crossed her arms over her chest and puffed.  “Well it IS cute!  And Kitten America is _very_ protective of him.  They make a good team.”

Tony threw his arms up in the air.  “Sure.  Let’s just allow the Winter Soldier and Fluffy Sidekick terrorize HYDRA through Death by Adorable.  We’ll just get human Cap back later.”

"Look, basically, all our data suggests that Sergeant Barnes - because it looks like he’s regaining his memories - is pretty much doing the Roaring Rampage of Revenge thing, right?" Skye began. 

"That and because he’s got red in his ledger," Natasha added.

"And also because he’s protecting Cap," Coulson said, tapping at footage in which a HYDRA scientist made the terrible mistake of threatening Steve Rogers, to which the Soldier had coldly responded:  _You will not touch him._ And afterwards, said HYDRA scientist promptly had a bullet hole in his head. 

"Exactly," Skye said triumphantly.  "If we want to get Sergeant Barnes to come running, we need to let him know, somehow, that Steve’s _missing_.”

Tony, of course, had the best response to this.  “As long as this plan doesn’t involve all of us getting bullet holes in our heads from Cap’s Angry Russian Sniper Boyfriend, I’m game!”

***

If he didn’t know better, there was almost an element of worry to Punk’s meows as he butted his head against the Soldier’s cheek in an effort to offer comfort. 

Steve Rogers was missing.

The Avengers and what remained of SHIELD were all frantic in their efforts to find him.  And there wasn’t a sign or trace of Steve, even as Bucky was systematically going through every HYDRA cell he could find.  HYDRA, despite its fatal miscommunication fails among its various cells, had at least managed to alert some groups to be on the lookout for the missing Captain. 

This was no Avengers/SHIELD trap. 

His fists clenched.  His nightmares, based on his rapidly returning memories, were bad enough.  He didn’t need to add the mental image of a screaming Steve being put in _The Chair_ and subjected to the same torment that the Soldier had suffered.  No. 

"Fuck, no," he whispered.

Punk chirruped. 

As always, he gently scratched the kitten’s chin and his favorite spots behind his ear. 

"I suppose we need to hook up with some of Steve’s new friends, Punk.  Idiot’s gone and got himself in trouble again.  What do you think?"

He got an offended bat on the nose with a paw for his trouble.

"He’s a trouble magnet, just like you.  Can’t leave him alone, even for five minutes, apparently."

Somehow, Punk managed to make a meow sound almost exactly like the word _Jerk_ , the same way Steve Rogers would’ve said it.  To Bucky.  To the Soldier. 

To _him._

The Soldier huffed in amusement.  “Yeah.  Let’s go make nice with Steve’s friends, then.”

_\- tbc -_


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/95530506866/does-kitten-steve-sleep-next-to-bucky-on-the-pillow)

_An Interlude:_

  
It was apparent that Punk the Kitten did _not_ want to be parted from his Soldier.  Even when it was time for bed. 

(The Soldier had eventually learned the ancient truth that every cat person knows - _you do not own a cat; the cat owns you._ ) 

He initially tried to put Punk into a shoebox, made nice and comfy with a soft towel.  Punk was not having any of it.  He yowled and promptly curled up on the pillow next to the one the Soldier would be using for sleep. 

"You’re such a little punk, you know that?" The Soldier told his feline companion with fond exasperation. "Maybe I should’ve named you something else like _Angel_ or _Blondie_ \- you’re living up to your name too well!”

"Meow!"  Punk gazed up at him with big blue eyes and blinked. 

"Whatever."

Personally, the Soldier was terrified that he’d thrash around in the middle of a nightmare, reach out with the metal arm and inadvertently crush one tiny ball of golden fluff.  And there was one night that he did begin to have the usual round of nightmares - blood and pain and _The Chair_ and that fucking devil Pierce whispering to him his dreams of glory and heroism with Steve’s face on and screaming, always screaming for help that never came.

In the middle of those dreams, just as he could taste the rubber of the mouthguard they’d make him bite down on, brace himself for the inevitable pain, he heard _purring._

_Bucky, Bucky, it’s okay.  You’re safe.  Bucky, baby, please, wake up.  I’ll never let them hurt you again.  They’ll never get you again.  Bucky, baby, please…._

And the Soldier woke up to see big kitten blue eyes staring right at him and there was Punk, sitting right on his chest, giving the loudest, deepest, rumbliest purr that shouldn’t be possible coming from such a tiny fluffball that he was. 

The Soldier blinked tears back, lifted a finger to stroke that fuzzy head and whispered, “Hey, Punk.”

"Mew."

Sometimes it was apparent that Punk would be the one with the nightmares.  The Soldier wasn’t sure what nightmares kittens could have, only that he’d hear the little guy wail in his sleep.  So he’d carefully curl around his kitten, call his name softly and run a finger lightly, oh, so gently, just above his head. 

It worked like a charm. 

And the two of them would end up sleeping like that, Punk on his pillow, the Soldier curled around him.  And if it reminded him of curling around a small, wheezy, fair-haired boy, listening to his labored breaths, falling asleep to his thready pulse, well, it helped bring in better dreams, of bright blue eyes and a smile that was all the sunshine in the world. 

_\- tbc -_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Note:** In Russia, kitten owns you. 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/95523474666/good-mawnin-kitten-america)

So okay, Punk the Kitten has been acting mopey and depressed and hell if the Soldier knows why.  He’s already managed to make contact with Skye and they’re going to meet up and the Soldier’s pretty worried about that kill order on his kitten because _it doesn’t make fucking sense_ and on top of that _where the everliving fuck is Steve?_

So the Soldier thinks, finally, that maybe Punk is picking up on his disquiet and he’s got to calm down, somehow.  Right now, they’re both in some motel down the highway in the middle of Fuckitall, Maine.  Bucky doesn’t know it, but the place eerily resembles Bates Motel in Hitchcock’s _Psycho_.   Despite his ignorance of  _that_ particular bit of pop culture, the motel does give him an uneasy feeling, though he’s checked it out and judged that there are no immediate threats. 

Then again, any psychopath might find it difficult to take down the Winter Soldier and Death by Adorable - the Soldier is _amused_ to find out that this has become the codename for his fierce little kitten.   

At least this motel has some decent movies and he settles down to watch Gene Kelly in _Singing in the Rain._ He’s slouched down on the bed, Punk curled up on his stomach, having finally come out of the Soldier’s hoodie pocket.  Apparently, the kitten is enjoying the movie too, fluffy tail moving in time to the beat of the music.

"Steve would love this," the Soldier murmurs, absently stroking Punk’s fuzzy blonde head.  "He doesn’t think so, but I think he’s a lot like ol’ Gene here - always dreaming big.  Pegs would be Kathy Selden and I’d be Cosmo - hey, OW."

He levels his best Winter Soldier glare on Punk, who has nipped at his fingers.  And of course, Punk _would_ go for his actual flesh fingers, not the metal ones, vicious little critter that he could be. 

"Okay, so maybe Stevie don’t dance that good.  At least not without me teaching him the steps." He smirks at the kitten, who puffs up.

He’s not an idiot.  He knows animals tend to understand humans better than they let on and apparently, Punk’s no exception.  It’s just that he tends to fill in Punk’s responses with a familiar disconcertingly deep voice in an equally familiar Brooklyn accent coming from a tiny fellow who never did know when to back down from a fight. 

"Oh don’t you look at me like that.  S’God’s honest truth."

"Meow!"  _You’re such a jerk._

"He could be really graceful when he forgets to be self-conscious about things.  Loved teaching him how to dance, how to box, how to move… at least until he started wheezing. Fucking asthma."

"Meow."   Punk passed a paw over his face, oddly looking a bit self-conscious as he tried to groom himself. 

"He was a superstar, just like Gene," the Soldier murmured, stroking down between Punk’s eyes, gently booping him on the nose. 

_Good morning!  Good maaaawnin’!  It’s great to wake up late.  Good maawnin’! Good maawnin! To you!_

The Soldier found himself singing along as Punk curled around twice on his stomach, settled down and purred. 

_\- tbc -_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Note:** This was totally unplanned for but [thunderboltsortofapenny](http://tmblr.co/mMLibmTPyQ-_nsAaMDSMZsQ) made me do it.  So. Ta-DAH!


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/95885429956/with-an-infuriated-yowl-punk-the-kitten-launches)

With an infuriated yowl, Punk the Kitten launches himself from the Winter Soldier’s shoulder and claws right onto the unprotected groin of a HYDRA agent. 

Technically speaking, kitten claws and fangs shouldn’t be able to tear through the sturdy material of those pants. 

Nobody told Punk that, though.

The Soldier has the oddest feeling of deja vu - like he’s walked into an alley, only to find one tiny boy fending off a local bully with a trash can lid and him drawling, _"Hey, buddy, you wanna try picking on somebody your own size for a change?"_ and sending off said bully with a literal kick in the ass.

HYDRA came prepared this time.  They have a huge German Shepherd dog meant to take the cat down.  The Soldier would’ve shot him if he had to; there wouldn’t be a lot of choice at this point and he didn’t carry tranquilizer darts on him.  Except Punk the Kitten sent the dog yipping away, moving faster than what the Soldier thought a normal cat should and getting the dog with a fierce claw right on the nose.  

Did SHIELD or HYDRA experiment on his little kitten somehow? Was that the reason why Punk seemed to be smarter than the average cat? Stronger? Faster? 

The Soldier brought down the last standing HYDRA agent with a clear shot to the throat.  Punk came scurrying over, climbing over his trousers, his metal arm and finally settling down next to the crook of his neck with a satisfied purr.

_Ready to follow Captain America into the jaws of death?_

And he still hadn’t any intel about Steve Rogers.  This particular HYDRA cell, at least, didn’t have him.  He was a day away from the meeting he’d set up with Agent Skye.  The Soldier had hoped he would be able to bring better news to Steve’s friends.   

"Steve, where are you?" the Soldier murmured.

Punk the Kitten purred louder.

The Soldier snorted.  Sometimes, this cat had a knack for answering him at just the right moment. 

"Right, like you’d know where Steve Rogers is."

"Meow! Meow!" Punk nuzzled at his chin. "Meow!"

"Sure, sure.  Two meows for yes.  One for no.  Punk, do you know where my Captain is?"

He was joking, really.  He wasn’t serious about it, except that he wondered what sort of experiments HYDRA or SHIELD had carried out on a defenseless kitten and what was the purpose?  He didn’t expect —

"Meow! Meow!"

The Soldier paused.  What. The. Fuck. He plucked the cat off his shoulder, carefully cupped him in his hands, looked him in the eye. 

"You can actually understand what I’m saying?"

"Meow! Meow!"

"Jesus Christ."

"Meow!"  There was a reproving paw on his nose.  

"Stop it, you’re begging to act like Steve — "

"Meow! Meow!"

Wait a minute.  It was getting stronger now.  The sense of seeing the kitten and the scrawny, ninety pound asthmatic Steve Rogers used to be.  Something in the kitten’s expression, the soft downy hair, the bright blue eyes…. 

“ _Steve?”_

"Meow! Meow!"

"Oh fuck me."

_"Meow."_  

It was the most mournful sound Bucky had ever heard.

_\- tbc -_


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/96129834631/steve-has-a-sad-this-was-probably-the-worst-kept)

This was probably the worst-kept secret in the entire world, because God only knew that the Howling Commandos were aware of it, _Peggy_ _Carter_ knew about it and was often to be found giggling herself silly over it, breaking her normally composed, cool facade and Colonel Phillips had just raised his eyes heavenwards and said, out loud, “What in the name of sweet Jesus did I ever do to deserve these assholes?”

Why yes, the Soldier’s

(Bucky Barnes’)

memories were returning with a vengeance.  Between the _missions_ \- the ones that always ended in blood and pain and the _screaming,_ God, the _screaming_ , because Bucky

(the Soldier)

would wake himself up with a hoarse throat, there were these other memories, like brief flashes of sunlight, brief moments of calm between the ongoing storm.

But there it was, all the same.  That particular, worst-kept secret between two boys from Brooklyn: 

The Soldier

(Bucky Barnes)

did not like seeing Steve Rogers being sad. 

And there it was, really - one depressed golden ball of fluff, curled up in a shoebox, bitty paws kneading absently at the shirt that Bucky

(the Soldier)

used instead of a towel.  Punk, no, _Steve Rogers_ the Kitten, had resolutely stopped purring, meowing, nuzzling or doing any of the ten thousand signs of affection that he’d shown his Soldier

(Bucky)

since they’d found each other. 

"Look, you’re not going to stay small and fuzzy forever."

An ear flicked and Steve rested his cheek on his paw.

"We’ll get to your friends, I’ll leave you with them and they’ll figure out a way to change you back.  And you’ll be human again, ready to jump into any HYDRA mess you want with your stupid shield instead of four paws and a tail."

Said tail twitched once.  Still moping.

"Look, pal, you need to work with me here.  What do you want?  A mouse toy?  Catnip?  Salmon?  Give me a mission here, Captain.  Something.  _Anything._ ”

The Soldier/Bucky was begging now and it might have been more than a bit ridiculous, the fist of HYDRA and the former Howling Commando somehow finding this middle ground, this _Mission_ , which had him trying to speak to a tiny feline in a mix of Russian and Brooklyn accents, figuring out what he needed.  The Soldier/Bucky found that he _hated_ seeing his _Mission_ , his Captain, his _punk_ like this - all the sunshine gone from him.

Gently, hesitantly, he extended a finger to stroke over the soft, fuzzy head.  “Hey, punk.”

And then:

_I’ll leave you with them._

Oh.  _Oh._

"You know that I can’t stay around you, right, Steve?  I’m broken, fucking dangerous, I could - I could - "

"Mew."

And Steve quietly curled around himself, hiding his face with his tail.

He wasn’t sure how this happened, but between one moment and the next, he had a handful of kitten, cuddling it next to his cheek and it was almost - _almost_ \- like the way his arms could have closed around a smaller, frailer, _human_ body, resting his chin against soft blonde hair.  

"End of the line.  Guess I can’t leave you then, can I?"

"Mew."  And this time, Steve rubbed his head against Bucky’s chin.  Kitten blue eyes blinked up at him, twice. 

And the next words just slipped out.  “I know.  I love you too, punk.”

_\- tbc -_


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Orginally posted at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/96565569206/death-by-adorable-bucky-barnes-because-that-was)

Bucky Barnes (because that was _his_ name, the Soldier knew and he wasn’t going to let HYDRA take it from him anymore) had already planned for a number of possibilities upon meeting up with Steve’s friends.  He’d done his fair share of fretting, though he did try to keep it from Steve.  That didn’t quite work.  After their “conversation” - which, amazingly enough, worked wonders on the mopey disposition of his Captain-turned-kitten, Bucky had been the recipient of concerned nuzzles and meows whenever his fretting got too obvious. 

So he thought he was prepared.  And then:

"AUGH! SAVE YOURSELVES!"  This was from Stark Junior, who despite his resemblance to his father, seemed to have a bit more dramatic… _flair_ than Stark Senior ever did.  “DEATH BY ADORABLE!  EPIC SQUEE!  TOO MUCH CUTE!  CANNOT HANDLE!”

"Steve, how could you do this to my dog, man?" moaned Barton, after Steve had made the acquaintance of the mutt and promptly received a doggy bath.  Evidently, Lucky thought that Steve needed coddling - a sentiment that endeared him completely to Bucky. "It’s like watching a goddamn Loony Tunes cartoon come to life."

Three of the female SHIELD agents - Simmons, Skye and the woman even Bucky knew as the Cavalry - ended up cooing over Steve, who laid his ears back in what, apparently, was the cat version of Steve doing a full body blush.  And then he ended up being cuddled against Darcy Lewis’ _very_ ample…. _attributes_ and Bucky was hard pressed not to laugh at Steve’s clearly embarrassed mews and he could almost hear the swearing underneath: _God damn it, Bucky, get me outta here!_

_Sorry, pal, I ain’t helping you out on that one._

"Meow," was Natalia’s attempt at speaking cat, which promptly got answering meows from Steve. 

"Do you actually understand what he’s saying?" Bucky couldn’t help asking, because okay, _he_ could, somehow and he would really like confirmation of the fact that at least in  _this_ specific instance, he wasn’t being loony.  

"It’s very easy to speak cat," Natalia answered.  "If you’re owned by one, you pick up on it pretty fast. And Steve definitely owns you, right?" 

No, the Black Widow did _not_ make the Winter Soldier blush.  Those pictures were photoshopped, god damn it. 

Thor, clearly telegraphing his moves, clapped a hand on Bucky’s shoulder.  “Your Captain will be restored to you again in his proper form.  I shall return shortly with yon Midgardian witch, who already has a counterspell readied.  Though it amuses me as to the extent of the Captain’s vocabulary.  I have not heard such inventive profanities for aeons and certainly did not expect that from Steve Rogers.”

"Kitten America doing Kitten Swears.  Man.  I am just so done with y’all," was Sam Wilson’s comment.   That got a yowl and a hiss from Steve, which earned him a pat on the nose from Darcy and a "it’s okay, boo, I won’t let ‘em pick on you anymore."  And more cuddling. 

"HULK WANT TO HOLD KITTY CAP."

So Bucky looks to Phil Coulson, SHIELD’s new Director and who was, according to all his intel, a bastion of Sanity and Common Sense.

Coulson just looked upon them all and let out a tiny “squee.”

Bucky facepalmed.  “Your friends are all fucking weird, Stevie.”

From the depths of Darcy’s bosom was a pathetic. “Mew.”

_\- tbc -_


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/97126079921/so-after-steve-was-finally-saved-from-darcys)

So after Steve was finally saved from Darcy’s bosom, much to Thor’s eternal amusement, Steve the Kitten ended up being cuddled by Jane herself.  Jane, alas, was not immune to Squee Apocalypse by Adorable Kitten.  She was quite unable to resist, especially his “adorable jellybean pawsies.”

Since it was _Jane_ and Hulk liked _Jane_ because Jane was “Science Goddess” - something that Bruce and his Big Green Alter Ego actually _agreed_ on, having a great respect for Dr. Jane Foster’s work and research, Hulk did not mind that he could still not get to hold Kitten America.  

Thor rumbled that he trusted that his Captain would remember to conduct himself like a gentleman…. er…. _gentlekitten._

Steve apparently meowed his mortified assent, which sent the Prince of Asgard into gales of laughter.

Eventually, Jane was persuaded to let Steve return to Bucky and their Captain-turned-kitten promptly crawled into Bucky’s hoodie pocket and pointedly refused to come out.  He did, however, give off quite a rumbling contented purr that was surprisingly loud, given his tiny size.

Eventually, the Winter Soldier was persuaded to allow his Mission to go with the tiny, Hogwarts Lolita Magical Girl witch (the other descriptives were _Tony’s_ words, not the Soldier’s, who simply noted that the SHIELD-vetted witch looked disconcertingly like an impish teenager).  The Soldier _did_ approve of the gentle way she held his punk kitten and the fact that she simply and solemnly meowed at him in the most polite tone possible.

Apparently, she too spoke cat quite fluently. 

From Steve’s startled “Mew!” Bucky knew his friend approved as well. 

About an hour later, Bucky’s hands were again filled with tiny, fluffy, blonde kitten.

"What happened?!" or some variant thereof - with maybe some cursing in various languages - was everyone’s reaction. 

The Soldier oddly approved at the way the tiny witch - whose designation he would later learn to be _Spooky_ \- did not flinch when he brandished his favorite knife in her general direction.  He hissed when Steve growled low and dug in a warning claw when he clambered up on Bucky’s shoulder.

"Don’t blame me, ask your Captain," the witch sighed.  "Technically the spell’s gone but I guess he wants to stay a kitty for now."

Bucky turned blazing eyes on his kitten and tried not to melt when he got a sheepish nuzzle against his chin. 

"Meow," was Steve’s response, looking as sweet and as innocent as possible.

_\- tbc -_


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/97636604821/behaviors-of-americas-first-avenger-turned)

**Behaviors of America’s First Avenger Turned Kitten** :  _A List Compiled by Bucky Barnes_

**  
1.  Quivering butt; ready to pounce**

Bucky doesn’t hesitate.  He ducks, letting Steve fly over his shoulder straight at the HYDRA goon who’s about to shoot him in the back. 

The goon is actually _lucky_ that Steve aimed super-soldier serum enhanced kitten claws and fangs at his face.  The last time, Steve went for the _groin_.  

Again, whether bitty or big, human or cat, there _is_ a vicious side to Steve Rogers, one that he reserves for bullies and bullies alone.

It may say something about Bucky Barnes that he's always found this adorable _somehow._  

 

**2.  Rolling Back and Forth on the Carpet**

"Look," Bucky said in exasperation.  "This doesn’t mean I’m letting you off the hook for _not changing back to your proper human form yet.”_

"Meow."  Paws batted up at him invitingly, big blue kitten eyes blinking twice.

"Nope, punk, you’re not getting me with that Look.  I am _immune_ to that Look, do you hear me?”

"Purr."

"God damn it, Steve."

Steve gets scritched anyway. 

 

**3.  Making Squinty Eyes at You**

 "He’s laughing at me, Barnes."

"That’s because you’re a funny little bastard, Stark Junior."

"HEY.  I’ll have you know that I NARROWLY escaped that.  Mom was like…. six weeks preggers when she walked down the aisle with Dear Old Dad.  And horrible, traumatic Daddy Issues aside, Kitten America is STILL LAUGHING AT ME."

"That’s okay, Tony.  We think you’re funny too."

 

**4.  Raised Butt in Your Face**

"This is Steve’s way of saying ‘Fuck off’ isn’t it?" Barton commented.

"Pretty much, yeah." 

"I don’t understand.  Why doesn’t he want to change back to his human form?" This from Jemma Simmons.

"Maybe Cap just wants a break.  Maybe he just wants to make sure Bucky Bear here doesn’t go anywhere?" 

"I already promised you, Steve.  I’m staying.  Remember?"

"Purr."

 

**5.  Sleeping in a Perfect Circle**

Steve sleeping in a perfect circle of blonde fuzz, right on Bucky’s belly, went a long way in keeping away Bucky’s nightmares. 

The fact that Bucky was _right there_ whenever said perfect circle of blonde fuzz would uncoil and Steve would start whimpering from what had to be _his_ own nightmares, probably helped Steve deal with whatever it was that was going on in that head of his.

"First time I met him? It was obvious he wasn't doing too good either," Sam Wilson had mentioned. 

"Yeah?"

Steve rubbed his head against Sam's ankles and purred. 

Bucky was _not_ going to be jealous that Steve apparently was quite fond of Sam too.

Sam reached down to gently scritch behind tiny pointed ears.  "Yeah, hopefully, you won't mind me saying this, Cap, but it's true.  Your head's a mess.  Guess that's why you're catting out for a while, I bet."

"Meow! Meow!"

"Two meows for yes," Bucky felt obliged to say.  For some reason.

"Well, you cat out for as long as you like, Cap.  We'll be here for you anyway."

Fine, so Bucky could see why Steve liked Sam so much. 

Steve still chose Bucky's belly to sleep on, curled up in that perfect fuzzy circle. 

 

**6.  Kneading With Paws**

This is less kitten instinct and more of the fact that Steve had discovered a way to render his Soldier into a puddle of goop via the magical properties of kitten massage.  

Also, the Avengers and Phil Coulson’s baby SHIELD agents quickly got used to the fact that Bucky Barnes was actually capable of purring himself. 

"You have video of this, right, Tony?"  Clint murmured.

"Are you kidding?" Tony muttered back.  "All of you are gonna have copies of this before I'm done.  Just... don't let the scary Russian assassin get me, okay?"

"For the nth time," Bucky mumbled sleepily as he got kneaded on the shoulders by determined kitten paws.  "I'm _not_ Russian.  I'm Romanian."

 

**7.  Sitting in Cat Loaf Formation**

This really translates to “It’s time to watch _Singing in the Rain_ , Bucky.  Put the DVD on, queue up Netflix, chop chop!” 

"Fine, punk, but I'm _still_ not Gene Kelly, okay?"

 

**8.  One Leg Extended During Bath Time**

Eventually Bucky discovered that putting Steve in a sink of warm water went a long way towards making his Kitten Captain happy. 

He just had to remember to get Steve back out before he fell completely asleep in his bath.

 

**9.  Showing Its Belly to You**

Bucky Barnes is the only one allowed to scratch the fuzzy belly.  Everyone else  _will_ get clawed. That includes you, Tony. 

 

**10.  Staring Off Into Space Wide Eyed**

"Meow?" Nat asked.

"Meow.  Meow meow meow meow."

"Nat, do you actually _understand_ what he’s saying?” This from Tony, who _had_ noticed that Bucky seemed to have an easy time of translating Steve meows to Proper English but didn’t realize that Natasha was apparently able to do the same thing.  

"He’s saying we got a sniper at our 10 o’clock.  Clint - "

"Already on it!"

"Meow!"

 

**11.  Sleeping in Boxes**

This only really works if Bucky puts in a shirt he’s recently worn in said box.  Otherwise, Steve sleeps next to him or basically in his general vicinity.

Bucky thinks he hasn’t imagined the other night, where he ended up spooning an actual human body that’s a bit disconcertingly bigger than the little one in his memories.  But he doesn’t really mind. 

"Are you going to be a cat when I wake up, Stevie?"  He may or may not have stolen a kiss against the back of Steve's neck, breathing in his scent. 

"Maybe."

"Okay.  You know I do love you, right?  Even though I’m a fucked up mess?"

"Same.  Both points.  Lots of love.  A whole lotta mess."

"Okay.  Good night, baby." 

"G’nite." 

 

**12.** **The hug n’ bite**

Yes, that really was an unknown HYDRA tracker in Bucky’s flesh arm.  Steve had alerted them all to its presence and Tony had gotten it out just in time before HYDRA used it to activate the self-destruct in the Weapon.  

 

**13.  Chirping Out the Window at Birds**

"He’s chirping at us.  And he’s got this look that I don’t like, man." 

"Cap, you do know that Falcon and I aren’t really birds, right?"

"Yeah, Steve.  Me and Hawk over here just have cool codenames, okay? Okay, Steve?"

"Shit, run, Sam, RUN!" 

 

**14.  Sitting on Your Computer When You Need to Work**

"But I need my laptop, AC!  And Cap’s not letting me near it!"

"Skye, you have been trying to hack into that HYDRA database for the past seven hours.  You need food, liquids and rest.  In that order.  And - _Captain’s_ orders." 

Skye pouted.  It really didn’t help when one’s boss was a massive Captain America fanboy and was right all at the same time. 

"Meow."

It also didn’t help that Cap _still_ made for an adorable kitty.  And batted at her hands with stern paws as she tried to get at her laptop.

"Fine!"

 

**15.  Nowhere to be found, no matter how hard you look**

Bucky doesn’t flip the person who wraps his arms around his waist and instead settles back in that familiar warmth and scent with a sigh.  He gets a nuzzle and a brief kiss along his jawline as a reward from a very human nose and a very human mouth. 

Thank God. 

"Well, Stevie?"

"Well," Steve Rogers sighs happily.  "I’m back." 

_\- end -_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Note:** Based on [this post.](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/97634536881/pr1nceshawn-shocking-truths-behind-what-cat)


	12. Epilogue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Originally posted at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/97926934356/the-embarrassing-thing-is-that-everybody-except)

 

The embarrassing thing is that _everybody_ except Bucky did not realize that Steve was now able to turn into a kitten _at will_ for weeks.

The SHIELD witch just giggled at everyone and then said, kindly, “I think you all better ask your Captain why he feels like going cat sometimes.”

They all did think about it.

Eventually, they realized they didn’t have to _ask._

So each and every one of the Avengers pretty much let Steve have his space and Clint’s ridiculous hat for hiding under (it was an EXCELLENT place to hide, okay?).  Also, they didn’t laugh at him when he, in kitten form, took charge of Bucky’s leftover milk from his breakfast cereal.

Both Kitten Cap and his team were both surprised to find out that getting cuddles and scritches were definitely appreciated.  So it became a Thing.  He still gave the most pathetic, embarrassed meows if any of the ladies of the team cuddled him a little _too_ close but comported himself like a gentleman anyway.

Steve stayed a cat until he felt like turning back into a human again and the only one who could actually _order_ him back into his usual form was, of course, his beloved sergeant.

"As cute as you are in this form, there’s just one problem," Bucky had said, scritching the Kitty-Cap puddle on his chest.

"Meow?"

"I can’t kiss you stupid while you’re like that.  So go change back.  Chop chop!"

So of course, Bucky eventually gets a lap full of _human_ Steve Rogers and he’s quietly thankful that his version of the super soldier serum lets him bear all that weight the same way he would’ve if he had been able to cuddle Steve when he was still tiny and not a cat.  And of course, Bucky gets to bury his nose in dandelion fluff hair, pressing kisses to Steve’s temple, the curve of his cheek, before indulging in that sweet, red mouth.

The truth was that both of them were pretty broken and there were days when it was  _Steve_ picking up Bucky’s pieces off the floor and days when it was Bucky’s turn to do the same for Steve.   There really isn’t a magic spell to make everything _right_ for both of them.

But loving… well, loving did go a long way into making things _better_.

"All good?" he purrs against Steve’s lips.

"I don’t know," Steve purrs back, nibbling at his bottom lip.  "You promised to kiss me stupid.  I’m waiting, sergeant."

Bucky laughs and makes good on his promise.

_\- end -_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Note:** This was because someone asked me if Steve can now change into cat form at will.  Does this answer your question?
> 
> (First it was Thorin Oakenshield and now Steve Rogers.  There is a method to my madness, I SWEAR.)
> 
> I might end up doing more Kitten America stories. But for now, this is what I have for this universe. :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which FitzSimmons build Kitten America a motorcycle just for him, in which Bucky is completely gone on his punk and in which Steve is a little shit, whether he’s human or cat. 
> 
> Apparently, Kitten America continues his adventures at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/98504805406/steve-no-meow-i-dont-care-if-you-can)

 

"Steve…. _no.”_

"Meow!"

"I don’t care if you can handle the teeny tiny bitty motorcycle FitzSimmons built for you in kitten form.  I don’t care if you think it’s safe!  You’re not riding it!"

"Meow! Meow!"

"Steve, I know you can handle your Harley perfectly well…. _when you’re human!_   Just because you happen to have a kitten alternate form doesn’t mean you have nine fucking lives!”

"Purrr….."

"Please don’t give me the big kitten eyes.  It won’t work."

"No, marking me as your human won’t work either!  I know what that whole thing with the winding around my legs really means!  It’s not affection, you punk!"

"Meow! Meow!"

"Oh really.  Now you’re blinking _I love you_ at me.  And Bucky _yes_.  Christ.  Fine.  Bucky is FUBAR anyway.  Well.  Go on.  I reserve the right to take pictures and laugh at your fuzzy ass when you fall off that thing okay?” 

"Meow!"

"Right.  Always land on your feet.  You’re ridiculous, you know that punk?"

"Purrrrrr….."

"Yeah, yeah, I love you too, Steve."

_\- end -_


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In Which Kitten America Haz a Backup
> 
> Kitten America's adventures continue at [The Blanket Fort](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/post/98186718591/i-haz-a-backup-so-bucky-decided-to-try-this)

 

So Bucky decided to try this whole “shape-shifting” magic thing and it helped that they had a friendly SHIELD witch to show him how it was done.

She did, however, warn Bucky about a few things.  “So, a big part of the magic means that your new form will reflect a great deal about you.  So, please try not to have a heart attack when you see your new self in the mirror.”

"So does that mean that Steve here really is a bitty, adorable kitten on the inside?"

"HEY!"  Steve turned wounded big kitten eyes in his general direction.

"I rest my case."

Spooky gently twhapped both of them on the head.  “You can flirt later.  Magic first! And the first person to make Hogwarts jokes _will_ spend 24 hours as a frog!”

They behaved themselves. Steve rather _liked_ being a kitten.  Bucky definitely didn’t want to be a frog. 

So far, there was _still_ a kill order out on Codename: Death by Adorable.  Bucky’s not sure what it says about HYDRA that its various minions were willing to obey the order to _kill a_ _kitten_ but hell, he’d already spent the better part of seventy years being HYDRA’s meat puppet.  He didn’t want to understand what was going on in their fucked up heads.

And Steve, of course, was still crazy enough to be willing to play bait if it meant enticing more HYDRA “heads” out into the open.  

Tony would like to state for the record that he’s not sure how Kitten America still manages to inject a patriotic _swagger_ as he padded happily in the park, pretending to be totally unaware that HYDRA was on alert for the presence of Codename: Death by Adorable and Codename: Winter Soldier.

So when the HYDRA agents came running (and apparently, the orders for this particular cell was capture priority over kill), Kitten America happily sat back on his haunches and meowed. 

The HYDRA agents thought that they came prepared.  They had attack dogs, among other things. 

The attack dogs and the HYDRA agents were _not_ prepared for the presence of the overgrown wolf that came to stand protectively over his tiny captain.  Codename: Winter Soldier was suddenly nowhere in sight.

The later HYDRA reports made by the survivors of that team were a disjointed mess, mainly consisting of “AAAAAUGGGGH!!!!!”  and “OH SHIT OH SHIT FUCKING WOLF!!!!!” and “I DIDN’T SIGN UP FOR THIS!!!!”

Eventually, they would figure out that Codename: Death by Adorable’s lupine backup was really the Winter Soldier in a new guise but the Avengers and the new SHIELD were not inclined to let them know this anytime soon.

_\- end -_


	15. Chapter 15

**In Which Kitten America Makes New Friends**

 

 

"Can we eat that?" was Rocket Raccoon’s reaction when Groot brought the kitten back home.

Groot reared back, cuddling said kitten protectively, even as Peter Quill gasped in horror.  “ROCKET YOU DO NOT HURT ADORABLE BITTY KITTENS WHAT EVEN IS YOU!”

Rocket had to apologize to the kitten. 

It wasn’t even because Groot was _upset._

The kitten just regarded him with stern big blue eyes and sat back on its hind legs with a proud, almost military-like posture.  And Rocket … well.  Okay.  He had to fight the actual urge to _salute the kitten._

Crazy, yeah?

If this was what the fauna on Earth was gonna be like, Rocket was going to have some serious words with the Star Lord.

Drax was currently begging Rocket to translate kitten meows for him, because apparently, Groot and the Kitten were communicating.  And to Rocket’s ears, it was an actual _conversation_ , not just cutesy responses to meows.

According to Groot, the Kitten was looking for his _own_ protective raccoon.  He’d gotten a bit lost and there was an Evil Wizard who was fooling around with magic or some such and he was quite worried about _his_ raccoon and was asking for help in getting back to him.

Pete was all for it.  He was beginning to enjoy doing this hero business and what kind of heroes would they be, to pass up a chance to save adorable floofybutt kittens?

Gamora rolled her eyes at them but she too was not immune to Death by Adorable and gave the Kitten gentle scritches.  And the reassurance that the Kitten’s Raccoon would be found shortly.

In the meantime, apparently, there was this thing called a _Superbowl_ and according to Peter, his team was playing so he was going to root for them.   

According to Groot, the Kitten was rooting for the _other_ team.

Pete glowered.  “It’s on like Donkey Kong, cat.  Your boys are going _down._ "

"Meow. Meow!"

According to Groot, that would translate to - _For the next hour, you are not my friend, but my enemy._

Rocket broke out the popcorn.

Bets were taken.

The Kitten, amazingly, _won the bet._

And thus, this conversation happened: 

"I lost to a _cat._ " 

"Actually, you lost to a kitten," Gamora tells him, barely keeping the smugness out of her voice.  "The cutest, itty-est, bitty-est kitten there ever was." 

"Meow!" 

"How can I lose to a fucking cat?  This is not fair." 

"Look, buddy, you win some, you lose some.  Popcorn?"  Rocket waves the bucket in Peter’s general direction but is ignored. 

"How can I lose to a cat?!" 

"Meow!" 

"I am Groot." 

"Yeah, buddy, that football thing is pretty epic, yeah?  GO PATRIOTS!"  Rocket threw more popcorn up in the air. 

"I mean, did you somehow do some voodoo magic hoodoo on my team?  Is that it?  _Are you an actual fucking magic cat?!”_

"Meow! Meow!"  

"Earth cats can do magic?" Drax wonders aloud. 

"I’m pretty sure that this one just does cute for a living,"  Gamora points out.  She cuddles the kitten close and he purrs.  

"Do not worry, Star Lord.  I shall forever keep secret that you were defeated by a small, fuzzy Earth kitten," Drax intones solemnly.  

"Meow!"

And thus, the Star Lord and the rest of the Guardians of the Galaxy came to Avengers Tower, bearing the Kitten, wearing football jerseys.  They joined the Avengers on a visit to a couple of children’s hospitals.  You know - meet the new friendly aliens and superheroes.  It was awesome. 

It turned out that the Kitten was _really_ one Steve Rogers a.k.a. Captain America.  Rocket did meet _his_ overprotective raccoon of a boyfriend, though he wasn’t sure what exactly about Bucky Barnes was raccoon-like.  He, apparently, was a bastion of common sense though.  Totally understood all of Rocket’s worries about Groot.  Thus, Rocket did him a favor by helping him with that arm of his. 

_\- end -_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look for more Kitten America adventures at my [Tumblr](http://darthstitch.tumblr.com/tagged/kitten-america)
> 
>   **Note:** Kitten America meets the GotG gang.  I HAD to do it, guys.  I HAD to!

**Author's Note:**

> Because I totally lost it at "Kitten America."


End file.
